#2 The Second Personality Type is the Linear: "Feed Me, Praise Me, And Leave Me Alone."

What is a Linear, and how are they different from Eeyore the Donkey?

Aug 23, 2022

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Hey y'all, and welcome back to the Special Organizing Style (SOS) Personality Types!

In this issue we reveal the secrets of the Linear Personality and discuss how Linears are different from Eeyore the Donkey.

This is a long one, so pull up a screen, a refreshing bag of junk food, and be prepared to find somebody you know described herein!

(Note: Throughout this article I use he/him, because Sparklebrains are almost always male. Sorry, it's just true. Usually. Not always.)

Ready? Here we go!

Linears are logical, intentional, dependable, methodical, and reliable. They will rarely do what you ask unless they were headed down that path anyway, or unless they see the logic in it. Then they will get to it in their own sweet time. Not yours.

Linears are great at math, electronics, science, chemistry, surgery, aviation, nuclear anything, precision anything, and whacking things with a stick, over and over. Linears make good engineers, computer designers, programmers, architects, mechanics, mathematicians, researchers, electricians, plumbers, and scientists. Almost everyone in Silicon Valley is a Linear. They can be found fixing things like cars, plumbing, electrical and electronic or taking things apart to learn how they work.

Linears are the finishers of the world. In fact, Linears spend lots of time finishing what Sparklebrains start. and Linears like things simple. Really, really, simple. They also like things straightforward. Really, really, straightforward. They have one mood. All the time. No reason to change. Even if the building’s on fire.

Linears prefer to work alone. If they run across a problem, it will divert them only until it’s solved. Then they will resume where they left off.

Linears do well following steps and sequences. They work well from written instructions — if they bother to read them; and from tasks broken into manageable pieces. They do not like random anything, and are not good with spontaneity — unless it's their own. Then everybody should be fine with it.

Linears are logical, single-tracking, micro-focused, and not easily diverted (some call it tunnel vision or one-track mind.) They progress in a straight line. This is also how they think. And talk. In a straight line. Staying on one subject. Until they are done. Without diverting. Unlike Sparklebrains, who move like ballerinas, dive bar singers, or Tinker Belle when she's drunk.

Linear are not interested in diversions or distractions. They will finish their sentence, project, or explanation, no matter what. Linears just want to get things done. They do one thing at a time, check it off their list, and move on to the next thing. No sparkling. No distractions. Don’t interrupt. Even if you already got the point. Several times. They are not done until they’re done. You will hear them out. And then they’re done for good.

Linears do not relate to any time-oriented activities other than their own. They work at their own pace. If you have a deadline, that’s your problem.

Linears say things like, “my way or the highway,” and, “that’s just the way it is.” Not to mention the ever-famous, “Just do what I tell you to do.” (My dear departed Linear father's last words were, "If everybody did what I tell them to do, everything in the world would be fine.")

Linears put things in the same place every time. They'll even reorganize your stuff, putting it where they think it should be. No matter that this drives you up the wall; it's the only right way to do it. (Once, after I'd given a speech on a complex side of corporate reorganization, a lawyer came up to me and said — and I quote: "I'm really organized. Every morning I sharpen my pencil and put it on the left of my writing pad." Then he just stood there and stared at me. Another Linear who was 6'2" tall insisted that his 5" 3" tall wife keep the paper towels in the highest kitchen cabinet, because it was convenient for him.)

Linears have no time for others who do not think the way they do. Everybody should think as they think, and do as they do. Also, everybody should do want what Linears tell them to do. After all, it’s the only right way. Why would you want anything otherwise?

Here’s how Linears plan: They are assigned (or assign themselves) a project, start at Step One, go to Step Two, proceed to Step Three, then cuss, gather up all the parts, return them to where they bought them, come back and start over again at Step Three, proceed to Step Four, cuss at people who try to talk to them, stay up all night grinding away, and so on. They don't stop until they're done, which often takes months. (I knew one Linear who took 12 hours to replace a car headlight, three years to renovate a bathroom, and — although he's in Heaven — is probably still working to de-squeak the screws in St. Peter's gate.)

Weeks turn into months, even years, and the original project still isn’t done and nobody knows why. Except the Linear. They know why: “Because it’s not done yet.”

On the other hand, if you make a plan, Linears are fully capable of simply ignoring it unless it happens to match their plan. In which case it becomes their plan. As if they thought of it. Because they might as well have. Because they are always right.

1. MORE WAYS TO RECOGNIZE LINEARS

· Linears finish their To-Do lists every day — but their list contains only four or five items, whereas yours contains dozens if not hundreds.

· Linears hate emotion and drama, and can be found leaving the room when it occurs, or yelling at everyone to "Relax!" Which works, of course. Not.

· Linears move like dump trucks, RV’s, or trains: mostly forward, in simple maneuvers, rarely backing up, and never twirling around. Studies show that fewer than .001% of Linears are comfortable dancing.

· Linears are happy to wear the same shirt every day. You might find them wearing mismatched shoes, however, because they were too busy going over the Pythagorean Theorem one more time in their heads while they were getting ready, and because shoes are just not important in their grand scheme of things.

· Read anything written by Ernest Hemingway, and you’ll see Linear language writ large.

2. THE LINEAR MOTTO:

"Feed me, praise me, and leave me alone." Or, "But we've always done it this way!"

3. WHEN LINEARS ARE DISORGANIZED:

When Linears are disorganized, it’s because they have made too many plans, all of which take more time than they anticipated. They go into a kind of Alternate Universe where time doesn’t matter to them, and they’ll take as long as they need to finish each project. You cannot rush them, so don’t even try.

4. WHEN LINEARS ARE ORGANIZED:

Their tools are organized the way they want them, usually in a convenient pile or a visual wall arrangement. Under pain of death, never move or rearrange a Linear's stuff. However, they will use your delicate items as door stops, throw foul-smelling, chemically ruined clothing in the laundry with your expensive, delicate items, or take your belongings for other uses of their own, without ever mentioning it to you. (I said to one Linear, "don't put these suitcases in the car yet; I'm not finished packing them." Guess what happened? And guess how many times?)

5. A STORY ABOUT HOW A LINEAR AND A SPARKLEBRAIN “GOT” IT TOGETHER VERY PROFITABLY:

I did some consulting with two guys in Hawaii – I’ll call them Pete and Jim. They owned a small T-shirt company and were doing pretty well for just starting out: Their first year in business they grossed $250,000.

Pete was the gregarious, outdoorsy sales-type (Sparklebrain) who brought in 99 percent of the income. Jim was the introverted, indoor, exacting type (Linear), who made sure the paperwork—and everything else in the office—got done, and done right, the first time.

They called me because they needed help. They’d fought so often that their partnership was about to break up. When sat down with them they weren’t even speaking to each other.

To get them focused on the company instead of their argument, I asked them to tell me everything that needed to be done every day. Together we listed every single task, from opening the doors in the morning to turning out the lights at night. (By this time their lower lips weren’t protruding quite so far, and they were glancing at each other cautiously and even exchanging a few nods.)

Then I asked them to tell me who was responsible for each of the tasks on the list. We put Pete’s name to the right of each task he did, and Jim’s to the left of his. By the end of the day we had a pretty good start on two useful job descriptions, and there were only a few tasks left unassigned. (By this time they were actually talking to each other.)

Once they focused on what needed to be done, and divided up their tasks according to their Work Personalities, they finally realized their skills complemented each other’s. There was no further reason to compete or complain.

After that, all they had left to do was to hire people to complete the remaining tasks.

The following year, Pete and Jim tripled their income. (Increased income is just one of the amazing results people get from organizing by personality.)

6. HOW TO TALK TO A LINEAR:

If you tell a joke, and the person looking at you does not laugh, stares steadily at your ear and then changes the subject, s/he may be a Linear. S/he heard you, s/he just didn’t think it was funny. Linears do not acknowledge things they don’t agree with. They’re not implying anything is wrong with you, they’re just not interested. Or they don’t want to encourage you.

Linears do not change or adjust their comments to fit the person listening. We must change to fit them. Nothing else gets through to them anyway, so don't waste time expecting them to be anything other than what they are (hint: this may be the source of your exhaustion.)

7. THINGS TO SAY TO A LINEAR:

· Say, “you’re right.” (They’ll say, “Of course I am," or they'll just ignore you, because they are concentrating, and because they have completely forgotten you're still standing there.)

· “How does this work?” (If you have the time for a very long lesson.)

· “I need your advice/help.” (If you have the time for a very long solution, along with the long lesson.)

· Be very, very specific, because they will answer with how they are thinking of the topic; not how you have it in mind. (Because I know this, when I worked with one particularly cantankerous Linear, I made sure to repeat his instructions back to him. He wanted A, so I said, "I understand you want A." "No, he said, I told you I want B." I said, "OK, I understand you want B." He snarled, "No! I told you! I want C!" Knowing he was a Linear, I didn't get offended; I just said, "OK, I understand you want C." He puffed out a big breath, acted exasperated, and said, "Finally!")

· Say, “you’re right.”

· You can ask a yes or no question. Don’t ask an open-ended question unless you expect to be there for a long, long time.

· Tell them what they’re good at. (This will change nothing; they will merely see you as finally realizing an obvious truth.)

· Say, “you’re right.”

· Don’t try to change their plans. It won’t work. They will stick to the original plan no matter what. Besides, that’s the way they’ve always done it.

· Say, “you’re right.”

8. THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A LINEAR:

· “Hurry up!”

· “But it shouldn’t BE that way!”

· “I don’t WANT to learn it!”

· “You never help me give parties.”

· “You should be more social.”

· “You don’t UNDERSTAND me”

9. WHAT’S ON A LINEARS MIND:

· What time does the hardware store close?

· Will flange A fit in slot B, or will I have to retool it?

· What’s for dinner? I hope it’s just meat and potatoes; I hate that fancy-schmancy stuff.

· Nobody can do this as well as I can.

· Everybody's woefully stupid except me.

10. LINEAR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:

STRENGTHS:

· Logical

· Straightforward

· Skilled

· Computer and Internet savvy

· Good at building things, taking things apart, and figuring things out

· Finishing

· Focusing

· Predictable

WEAKNESSES:

· No ability to see the bigger view

· Can't handle more than one thing at a time

· Limits other people's options

· Can seem uncaring and self-centered

· Has a "my way or the highway" attitude

· May not play well with others

· No respect for other people's timing or schedules

· Expects everyone to do things their way

11. HOW TO GET A LINEAR TO PRODUCE:

· Feed him.

· Praise him.

· Leave him alone.

· Don't talk when he's working.

· Never interrupt.

· Lie about due dates: If you need something in two weeks, tell him you need it in two days.

· Give him small chunks (never large, complicated, multi-level jobs,) and ask him to come back with each chunk as it’s finished.

· Pair him with a Sparklebrain and tell him why. (“You’re in charge of the math and electronics, and Zelda here will handle the color choices and upholstery because those are each your specific talents.”)

· DO NOT give a Linear any task that involves party planning, frills, endless phone calls, squealing, or the color pink.

· Pay him or reward him when he’s done, on a regular, timed, scheduled, predictable basis. A Linear will do as you ask (mostly,) as long as you keep it simple and reward him at the end. But the day you diss him, neglect to acknowledge him, or let him know he’s not important to you, you're done. From then on, his opinion of your opinion of him will be negative and set in stone.

· Help Linears by re-prioritizing due dates on less urgent projects. For best results, give them time-based rewards: the sooner the job is done correctly, the greater the reward.

12. FOR SPOUSES OF LINEARS:

He’s really not doing it to bug you; that’s just how he is.

Trying to change him will only backfire.

He really can’t do more than one thing at a time.

Fixing things is how he shows that he cares.

Do not expect him to come to dinner when he’s fixing something.

Do not send him to the store if you want him to come back in less then six hours.

13. SUMMARY:

As with Sparklebrains, expecting Linears to do anything not in their range will just backfire. On you. So it's to your advantage to learn their needs, preferences, and habits, and then to manage expectations. Yours, not theirs. You are not going to change them or anything about them.

In our next issue:

What Is A Cross-Dominant And Why You Should Stay Out Of Their Way (even though they suck their teeth and roll their eyes, they will still stop to help you every time)

Following that, we’ll be talking about the three Access Types, and from there we’ll get into the How To Get Organized tips, stories, and ways you can blame disorganization on your furniture. Stay tuned!

How To Get Organized...Without Resorting To Arson!

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